


amuse me - Ironhide & Kris

by DeconstructedIronhide (InsertCoolName)



Category: Transformers (Bay Movies)
Genre: Gen, Ironhide just wanted to make Kris happy, not sure how else to tag this, post-Transformers (2007)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 10:57:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14495436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsertCoolName/pseuds/DeconstructedIronhide
Summary: “We destroyed her home and then you kidnapped her after she tried to fix you up. Ofcourse< she isn’t handling this well.”“I wasprotectingher–”“Youkidnappedher.”“…I think I liked being accused of adoption better.”





	amuse me - Ironhide & Kris

**Author's Note:**

> An 'amuse me' drabble requested by and featuring @a-mothers-wings OC Kris. Not beta read.

“Please.”

“No.”

“ _ Please _ ?”

“ _ No _ , Ironhide.”

“But  _ Ratch _ –”

Ratchet whirls around to face Ironhide fast enough to startle the weaponsmith into a flinch, half-expecting to get a wrench to the helm. “Don’t you have something better to do than bother me?” the medic demands, exasperated. Ironhide shrugs.

“Probably not.” He reaches out to rest his servo on his amica’s shoulder. “C’mon, Ratch,” he pleads, giving him his best imploring look. Ratchet’s told him before he just can’t pull off imploring, but it’s worth a shot. “This’ll mean a lot to me - and maybe to Kris.”

“What is it with you and adopting humans?”

“I don’t  _ adopt  _ them.” Ratchet arches an optic ridge.  “I didn’t adopt  _ Kris _ ,” Ironhide amends. More disbelieving optic ridge arches. “ _ She _ adopted  _ me _ .”

“How is that any better?”

“I don’t know. It’s actually kind of weird. She reminds me of Mrs. Lennox and it’s a little scary.” Ironhide frowns, then shakes his helm to bring himself back to the matter at hand. “The point is I want to do something for her. I don’t think she’s been settling into all this–” he waves his servo, referring to their general surroundings and their odd way of life as a whole “–very well.”

“We destroyed her home and then you kidnapped her after she tried to fix you up. Of  _ course  _ she isn’t handling this well.”

“I was  _ protecting  _ her–”

“You  _ kidnapped _ her.”

“…I think I liked being accused of adoption better.”

Ratchet exvents a drawn-out sigh, pinching his nasal ridge between two servos and offlining his optics. Ironhide brightens. He’s going to win this. “What do you want to do,” Ratchet demands. The resigned way he says it barely makes it sound like a question, but it’s something.

“OK, how does something like this sound?”

“I just want to tell you that this is  _ entirely  _ Ratchet’s fault.”

Ironhide has had accidents like this before. He’s a  _ weapons specialist _ , for Primus’ sake - while he’s no Wheeljack, he  _ can _ create some pretty good explosions. And Ratchet’s always cussed him out afterwards, tearing Ironhide a new one for not being careful and getting himself hurt, but he’s used to that by now. Ratch is his best friend, his amica endura. It’s their jobs to worry about each other.

However, Ironhide isn’t used to being worried over by Kris - « _ mothered by, _ » Ratchet corrects him over their commlink; Ironhide’s quick to shut that down because  _ « _ fuck you Ratchet _ » _ \- and it’s…

…it’s fucking  _ terrifying _ .

“Oh really,” Kris says, looking up at the pair of them with her arms crossed and her hip cocked to one side. It’s something Ironhide recognizes from Sarah Lennox and it doesn’t settle his unease at all. “Just  _ how _ is this Ratchet’s fault?”

“He’s the one who hooked up the wires wrong,” Ironhide says defensively. “It would have worked if he hadn’t–”

“You  _ told me to put them there _ !”

“I did _not_ , I told you to put them on the first and third rows! Not the _second_ and third! You overloaded the damn power core!”

“You said _ second _ !”

“I  _ did not _ !”

“You know what you shouldn’t have had me working on that part anyway. I’m a  _ medic, _ not a goddamn engineer.”

“It’s _wiring_. How _fragging_ _hard_ can _wiring_ be, Ratchet. We _have_ wires. In our _bodies_. You _work_ with wiring.”

“I–”

“Oh my  _ god _ ,” Kris groans, bringing the bickering ‘bots’ attention back down to the human. She’s covering her face with both hands, pressing her palms into her eye sockets in exasperation. “This is  _ ridiculous. Both _ of you. You are  _ millions of years old _ . Why are you bickering. Stop bickering. You sound like  _ children _ .”

“Ratchet’s older than  _ me _ ,” Ironhide grumbles.

“I swear to anything you deem holy–”

“ _ Enough! _ ” One of Kris’ hands falls to her hip while the other one points up at the mechs accusingly. “Stop. I’m done. Both of you. Medbay.  _ Now _ . I’m going to help you get cleaned up–shut it, Ratchet.” The click of the medic’s dentae is audible when he closes his jaw in shock. Ironhide wants to laugh - « who’s getting mothered  _now_ » - but he remains silent in fear of chastisement. “I’m going to help you get cleaned up and then you two are coming back and cleaning up  _ this _ mess.” She waves to the half-destroyed workshop.  “And you guys are going to do it without arguing.” Her eyes narrow as they flash from one mech to the other. “Understood?”

Silence falls over the workshop. Somewhere in the background, something falls to the floor with a loud clatter. Ironhide flinches.

“Good.” With that Kris turns away, heading for the door. She glances back at the two of them before she leaves, and Ironhide thinks that might be a smirk on her lips–

« Ratch, I think it worked. »

“What the  _ frag  _ are you talking about.”

“Ratchet. Ironhide.”

“We’re right behind you,” Ironhide assures Kris, pulling Ratchet along with him. «She  _ smiled,  _ Ratch. I saw it. I think it worked.»

« _ If this is your definition of a success I think you need serious help. _ »

« I take success where I can get it, » the weaponsmith tells his friend, smiling despite the situation. Ratchet snorts and rolls his optics, earning another glare from Kris.


End file.
